I’ve been reflecting on my prayer life and the Lord has revealed to me that I hold back when I am praying. The truth is, I hold back because I don’t want to be disappointed. It’s not that I don’t trust God, but it’s that human side of me that believes I know what I need and believe that I know what is best. Because I don’t know what God knows or see what God sees, I don’t always understand when He responds to my requests with “No” or “Not yet.” These answers from God are always for my best, however just like any child hoping for a “Yes,” I experience disappointment, sadness and sometimes confusion. Without realizing it, I have held back in my prayer life in order to avoid these feelings.
"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:16
The Lord revealed much to me this week about what prayer represents and why it is so important to my spiritual growth and my walk with Him. Prayer is the beautiful way that the Lord designed for us to talk with Him, cry with Him, laugh with Him, connect with Him and to lay things at His feet. By holding back and not being completely honest and open with Him, I’m putting limits on the relationship between God and myself.
Yes, there may be times when I feel disappointed, sad or confused by the Lord’s answers to my prayers, however, if I really take a look back at the times He has told me no or not yet, it truly was for my good.
"Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer." Psalm 4:1
I am in the midst of a season that has been quite challenging, to say the least. There has been pain, frustration, fear, doubt, loneliness, closed doors, confusion, and sadness. I could go on and continue to take things day by day, attempting to figure things out in my own power and function with the weight of these emotions and burdens on my back or I could start talking to my Father again and trusting that His answers to my prayers are exactly what I need.
Disappointment in the moment is nothing compared to the miracles and the blessings in my future. By understanding that His plans are perfect and that my plan might not be so perfect after all, allows Him to do such great works in my life.
"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful." Colossians 4:2
By spending time with Him, being open and honest with Him every day throughout the day, I’m taking the limits off of our relationship and I know that pleases Him.
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
More than anything, what is most important to Him, is the relationship He has with His children. He loves me. He wants to know me. He wants to laugh with me. He wants to cry with me. He wants to discipline me. He wants to teach me. He wants to guide me. He wants to take care of me. He wants to provide for me. He wants to bless me. He wants to love me. This is true for all of God’s children.