Today I woke up with the weight of burdens on my back, anxieties in my head, and a heaviness on my heart. I could feel the darkness of the enemy. I knew that he was preying upon me as I slept so that when I awoke, I would feel smothered by doubt, fear, and insecurity and I did.
"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8
I knew I had to pray and I wanted to, but I couldn’t. I didn’t know what to say or where to find the words. I felt so drained, so alone and so lost. I couldn’t hear anyone’s voice but the enemies and it was paralyzing.
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans." Romans 8:26
Despite all of this, deep down, I could still feel something that was keeping me from absolutely giving in and giving up. I knew the Holy Spirit was communicating with me, pumping hope and courage into my veins, into my heart, into my head, and into my spirit. He was telling me to fight and when I couldn’t He fought for me. He was telling me to pray and when I couldn’t He prayed for me.
"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1
Throughout the day, I relied on the power of the Holy Spirit to protect me, to be my guide, to be my strength and to intercede for me. I felt my Father holding me in His arms and letting me rest there. He wasn’t disappointed when I didn’t pray or when I didn’t fight. He allowed me to be still and He spoke for me and fought for me.
"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14
Just as I do with my own children when they are sick or tired, He allowed me to rest. Just as He does for all of His children.